Good morning my lovelies. It’s been nearly two months since my last blog, I’m so sorry. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say, it’s just that I’ve been RIDICULOUSLY busy and finding the time to write anything longer than one hundred and forty characters has been a challenge.
But here I am. It’s Saturday morning, everyone else is still asleep and I’m making the most of the opportunity to talk to you all.
So, last time we spoke I was on the cusp of moving. My GOD that was the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. I’m never doing it again. I have never been wound as tightly for so long in my whole life. My usual method of believing everything will work out was stretched to its absolute limit, there was so much that could go wrong and it dragged on for so many months that I thought my head was going to fall off with the stress of it all. But it didn’t, and here we are.
We moved in at the end of June and our brand new house is absolutely gorgeous. Every time I come home I get a bit emotional at the sheer beauty of it (I know, I’m a drama queen, but it IS wonderful). I’m writing this from the study, which is the ponciest thing in the world to say, but there we are. We also have a music room, so my lovely Rock God has a whole room to be musically awesome in while I watch True Blood in the living room (SO tempted to call it the drawing room but that might be step too far…) in peace.
All three children have their own huge bedroom and we have three bathrooms. Three! It feels slightly unreal because we have moved from a house that was far too small to one that is bigger than we ever thought we would achieve. And it’s all NEW and SHINY, even after three weeks of living here. I honestly feel like I’ve won a prize. My brain has conveniently blanked out the stress of getting here
and the ginormous mortgage and now I just feel all calm and lucky and full of win.
So that’s where I’m at with all that. And of course the other thing, which I haven’t really told you all much about on here, is that I’ve been sober for three entire months. Today is in fact day ninety. I woke up (with a hangover) one day back in April, decided to stop smoking and drinking, and, er, did. I won’t pretend it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but it wasn’t as hard as I always thought.
I have composed many many blog posts regarding my ‘sobriety story’, and I’m sure I will eventually publish one, but there are so many amazing blogs out there already saying it that I haven’t felt the need to so far. I’ve been following the lovely Allie over at And Everything Afterwards, for example, and she keeps writing exactly what I wish I could.
I will just tell you, briefly, that I’ve had many eureka moments in the past three months. Discovering that hosting a party sober is MORE fun than drinking through it was one. Spreadsheeting the amount of money I haven’t spent on booze and fags was another (that one nearly made me throw up, to be fair). I spent a really long time believing that a glass of wine and a fag were tools I could use to relax me, and I finally understand the lie behind that. So I feel a bit new and shiny myself at the moment.
I’ll come back to this and talk about it in another post another day. My family are up now, and our house is full of activity and noise and buzz which I want to go and be a part of.
Lots of love, chums xx