I like to think I’m very good at being happy, it’s kind of my thing these days.
I made a decision a long time ago to just be happy and I took control of my life after years of bouncing around like a demented pinball. It was a game changing decision.
That’s not to say I glide through life on a magic carpet of rainbows and glitter, but I do my best to put a positive spin on most things and I have become increasingly convinced over the last ten years or so that the Law Of Attraction is a real, viable thing. Now, before you all shout at me for spouting Woo bollocks, I have evidence. Sort of.
When I was in my teens and early twenties I was very depressed, and life was shit. It was a vicious circle of things being awful, me expecting them to be awful, and things continuing to be awful. I made very few good choices. My late teens saw me jobless, homeless and basically a big pile of fuck up. I started to take control by applying for a volunteer post far far away (well, Basingstoke), but I didn’t make any real changes and although I completed my year’s voluntary work I didn’t get to the root of my unhappiness and the cycle started up again. I ended up living in what can only be described as the grottiest flat in the world, in a block that was due to be demolished, barely surviving on benefits and the goodwill of my rapidly dimishing circle of friends. So I did what any rational, right thinking person would do. I got pregnant.
I know right? Not good choices. It was a theme. But it was the start of something. I’m going to gloss over the next four years because it’s boring boring boring and I don’t want to give it a second’s more thought, but I’ll sum it up by saying I fell into an awful marriage, had another baby, eventually decided life was far too short for this shit and finally, finally took control of my own life.
So life began. My babies and I started our real lives. I went to college in the evenings and worked in a shop during the day. We rented a beautiful flat. Our home was full of love and cuddles and potential. I did affirmations every day for a year, literally standing in front of a mirror telling myself I was worthwhile, that I deserved happiness. It sounds jaw droppingly cringy, but I really would love everyone to do it, it works.
Being happy led to more happiness. The universe decided to send me Rob. In fact, I asked the universe for him and he came along. I’ve often said that the timing was perfect as I wouldn’t have been ready for him before, I was too needy and didn’t value myself. He came along when I didn’t need anyone, when I had my life in my own hands, which meant we could build a solid, grown up relationship.
My wonderful husband. He is gorgeous, talented, funny and kind. He supports me with my every hare brained scheme and crack pot idea. He believes in me. And it’s reciprocated. Our life is based around making each other, and our children, happy. We have never, in seven years, had a cross word. He shares my positive attitude to the world, which has led to our friends gently mocking us for our ‘it’ll be fiiiiiiiine’ catchphrase.
But that’s the thing. It will be fine. We have decided to be happy. Which isn’t to say nothing bad ever happens, of course it does. But we can always weather it, I have been through enough shit (usually of my own making, to be fair) to know that I can take anything on.
We have so far sailed through income crises, debt the size of a small country, house moves, job changes, illness, bereavements, the whole nine yards. By sailed, I mean that the water was often choppy, but never what you would call stormy, because we’ve always been able to keep our eyes on the horizon and keep our course set.
I know I probably sound unbearable, I’m sorry. It’s really difficult to describe what I mean without sounding smug. I’m very far from smug, I promise. I do know and appreciate that luck plays a big part in happiness, but really and truly I think that you can make your own luck. Expecting good things, believing you deserve them, making real steps towards getting them and being thankful for the things you already have makes a HUGE difference to life.
My life now is so far removed from my life ten or fifteen years ago that it sometimes feels like it happened to someone else. But those experiences are what enabled me to have this life. I chose happiness and worked for it. I know, because I’ve done it more than once, that making huge, life altering changes is possible, if a little scary. You just have to believe that the life you want to have is within your reach and then grab it with both hands. Don’t compare your life to other people’s and grumble that they have more, because you will just end up with less. Law of Attraction, you see. Instead, tell the universe that you want more, believe that you deserve more, and then go and get more. Live well, have control of your own life, do right by others as well as yourself, make good choices and I promise you will reap the rewards. Don’t sit back and expect life to just happen for you. Because it will just amble by.
Anyway, that is my Saturday morning rambling life advice done with. I don’t have all the answers but I think I’ve mostly got my own shit together, and you may find it interesting or you may just want to punch me in my smug mouth
Now I’m off to enjoy the weekend. I hope yours is amazing. Be excellent to each other, dudes.