Hello chums. How are you? I am pootling along, in a pre-Christmas, post-baby autopilot kind of haze.
Have I told you all about my fab new makeup discovery?
(probably, I have banged on about it rather a lot in real life, sorry about that)
It’s called Bare Minerals. It’s wonderful. It’s cheap (ish), it’s easy and it WORKS.
A poster called JodieHarsh on MN first brought my attention to it (me and about a million other Mumsnetters, it now has rather a cult following).
She claimed it was the devil’s own work and she now had the dewy freshed skin of a teenager (not in a serial killer way though).
Lured in by the promise of clearer skin and a million compliments a day, I ordered a starter kit (Forty of your English pounds from Feelunique.com).
I haven’t looked back since. You can keep your creams and lotions and potions, I am a proper Bare Minerals convert. I’m quite evangelical about it. It is seriously the cat’s pyjamas. Let me tell you all about it.
The starter kit comes with two shades of foundation, in mine was Light and Fairly Light. Confusingly, Fairly Light is lighter than Light, and is the one for me. You also get three brushes, a Bisque (concealer), Warmth (sort a glowy, tanny, blusher-y one) and a Mineral Veil (which is the finishing powder).
You MUST moisturise first, I’ve found, or it shows up all your flakey bits.
There’s a bit of a knack to it, as it’s a mineral powder. So you put the primer on first (a teeny tiny bit all over) and then (this is important) you SWIRL, TAP and BUFF the powder on. So you tip a tiny wee small bit of powder into the lid, swirl your magic special brush (the biggest one) in it, tap off the excess and buff it all over your face.
It’s important to use much less than you think you should, and layer it up that way (otherwise you end up with cakey old-lady skin).
After maybe three layers of this, my freckly, patchy, spotty fizzog has become a smooth and natural looking blank canvas. It’s brilliant.
So then you can use a bit of Bisque (with the flat concealer brush) on the old eye bags, patches and spots. I also use it as an eyeshadow base.
Then I use a miniscule amount of Warmth with the medium brush as a blusher.
For me, that’s pretty much it. I finish off with a swirl of the Mineral Veil and add mascara and lip gloss and I’m done. But they also do magical eyeshadows and, well, everything really.
I cannot stress enough how fabbo my skin looks in this stuff. It feels like you’re not wearing any makeup, it doesn’t make my skin break out (like liquid foundations do) and once you’ve got the knack it is a piece of cake to apply, I can do it in five minutes.
I’m now wearing makeup most days, which I never bothered with before, and because you use such small amounts I expect the kit I’ve bought to last for ages, seriously months and months.
I realise I’ve now set myself up for all of you who know me in Real Life to go, hmm, she doesn’t look any better than usual at all, mad deluded cowbag. But even if it’s in my head, I don’t care. it FEELS awesome and my reflection looks bright and dewy instead of weathered and tired.
Go and buy it now. All of you. You really must.